当我还是一个大学生我报名参加了一个死亡和垂死的类,我们学会了悲伤的阶段。我相信你们中的许多人能背诵列出你已经从任何介绍性的心理学课程。有变化的这个列表,但大多悲伤阶段包括:否认、愤怒、讨价还价、沮丧,接纳。是一回事,记住这样一个大学测试列表。又是另一回事,在现实生活中经历这些阶段。悲伤不知道任何边界的年龄,种族,收入,或性别。没关系如果你住在贝弗利山的豪宅或在纽约一间卧室的公寓。悲伤总有一天会拜访你。你会经历一个损失。悲伤不包含的情感感到失去一个所爱的人。 One can also feel grief over the loss of a job, a relationship, or even your health. It is the grief experienced when dealing with health problems that I wish to talk about today.
许多的人来到健康中心查找一个特定的疾病或医疗疾病,悲伤是一个伴随的问题特别是如果你处理被认为是一种慢性病。就我个人而言,这就是我来发现这个健康网站。我疲于应对诊断多发性硬化和被告知关于健康中心的地方找到支持。我发现我不是一个人在奋斗。事实上每个人都面临着从双相情感障碍的诊断糖尿病会经历失去的感觉。听到你的诊断是可怕的。它可以更艰巨的听到你的条件是持续的,你必须找到方法来应付你的整个生活。
我将告诉你关于我个人经验与悲伤的阶段我遇到了当我听说我有多发性硬化症。现在已经两年多(在2007年的秋天我诊断),我可以诚实地说,我终于发现了一些接受这一切。但有些日子我回来开始阶段,我再次否认。悲伤不是一些可预测的A点到B点。它不是像你这样的悲痛和得到一些毕业文凭说你取得了认可。它更像是你把事情日复一日,有时感觉每一个情感,当你试图生活在一个不确定的未来。
否认
我通过一组奇怪的同步性知道之前我有女士第一次核磁共振。我记得经历第一批我的疾病的症状如肌肉无力,感觉失去平衡和坐在我的床边。我的心灵与旗帜像赛车想到“这是什么意思这是什么意思?”And my mind would answer, "You know what this means." As each new and bizarre symptom would appear I would try to dismiss them with other logical explanations. "I must be tired, clumsy, or crazy." As more tests and doctors visits would lend credence to my impending diagnosis, I still clung to the thought that perhaps this was all some big mistake. It was not. I had MS. Yet even after the official diagnosis was made, I would ask the neurologist, "Are you really sure?" expecting that somehow my doubts could magically change reality.
愤怒
我觉得我处理事情所有的MRI和测试和医生的访问。但随后算总账的一天当我电话。这是我在doctor-eze全科医生告诉我,“白质异常上发现我的大脑核磁共振是一致的脱髓鞘疾病,多发性硬化症。”I had multiple brain lesions. I sat there with the phone receiver in my hand and began to bang it upon the edge of the bed. I remember this fire of rage rip through my body. Here was this person explaining this to me as one would explain how to boil an egg. If I were a man, I probably would have put my fist through a wall. But instead, ended the phone call politely, went into my bathroom and screamed obscenities. All of my life's struggles stood before me. I thought about coping with living with a schizophrenic mother, coping with poverty, abuse, my miscarriage, years of infertility, and finding out that my youngest son has autism. And now MS??? "Are you kidding me?" I raged inside. Haven't I been through enough? I even pointed my finger to God and told him to "Bring it on" Anger? Absolutely. This is the emotion I felt before any sadness.
讨价还价的
有一个点接收我最初的诊断之前,我做了一些讨价还价。我想象着我的医生的电话。我想象我怎么可能会觉得,如果他说,“哦,你傻鹅,没有什么是错的,你没有女士,所以去快乐。”I told myself that despite the fact that I hate running and have never done it in my life, I would run a marathon. I don't even know where this idea came from but it was there. If I didn't have MS I would run for people who did. I imagined other things I would suddenly do if I was told I didn't have MS. I would become the athlete I never was. When you are waiting for life changing news you come up with some far out thoughts. Needless to say, I am not running any marathons lately.
抑郁症
这个元素失败对我来说并不新鲜。但每个抑郁都有自己的特殊的细微差别。我开始看到到处都是残疾或轮椅的人我去了。好像他们在全力在我的诊断。我想知道如果我看到我的未来。我抽泣着,看到最后剪辑的理查德·普赖尔努力说话,被推坐在轮椅上女士由于他周围的路径走后我哭了我的房子和我的女士。我一瘸一拐的向家里走去,有些人经过两眼瞪着我。这是第一次我无法掩饰我的疾病。我再也不能假装这不是发生在我。我有眼泪从噩梦中醒来,我与我的孩子和我不能帮助他们,因为在梦里我不能移动。 Some days I feel like a failure. I feel as though my body has betrayed me. There are times when I feel broken and weary in body and spirit. Sadness? Yes this is a part of the grieving process and there is no avoiding it.
验收
有一个我的一部分已经接受了这个。我有一个人生哲学,苦难是人类状况的一部分。每个人都存在。我几个月前的一次会议上发表了讲话。另一个扬声器是一个名叫e -病人戴夫。他给了一个最动人的谈到他与癌症的斗争中。就在他说话的时候,人群中他警告我们,“你的时间是来了。”What he meant by this was, everyone will have to deal with some sort of medical condition or disease in their lifetime. Living with a chronic medical condition is not unique. But what is unique is how each person deals with it. I have felt fear, anger, and a bittersweet sadness over my diagnosis. But I have also felt an incredible joy for those moments in time when I am feeling good. I don't take anything for granted. My diagnosis with MS has made me realize that time is precious. Who knows how long any of us have on the planet? So while we are here we might as well make the best of it. A huge part of my healing and acceptance has been to share my story with others. If I can help someone else by sharing my experiences, it gives my life meaning and transcendence from the pain. Does acceptance mean that everything is hunky dory and you no longer cry or get mad about this? No. But it does mean that you find ways to survive each day and find those moments of happiness and gratitude in between.
我将在这里结束。但是我想补充的是,不管你经历你并不孤单。有很多人疲于应对自己的麻烦。分享你的故事。找到依靠别人。希望总是存在甚至医生之间的互访。我告诉你我的故事。现在我想听你的。如果你有一种慢性疾病,患者告诉我们你是如何应对的。我们总是听到你的爱。
除了我添加一些链接,我们的成员和其他健康中心网站作家谈论悲伤与其他医疗条件。我希望你将访问这些其他网站可以提供信息和支持。
乳腺癌的网站:“悲伤阶段和乳腺癌”
慢性疼痛的网站:“慢性病”的内疚
在糖尿病的网站:“糖尿病、父母的悲伤和抑郁”
心脏病在我们网站:“如何处理悲伤和责任”
抑郁症的网站:流产的痛苦和损失
抑郁症的网站:当悲伤不会消失
在多发性硬化症网站:我的日记女士:开始
在多发性硬化症网站:采访一位临床心理学家