根据Merriam-Webster，单词“阉割”被定义为“让男人觉得不太阳刚”或“剥夺他的力量和/或角色的人。”
当我第一次听到这个词在几年前，我的治疗师在会话过程中，我感到惊讶，困惑，吓坏了，并威胁。我从来没有招待的想法，与某些人在我生命中的相互作用可以让我感觉像少一个人。此外，我是发现完全抵抗，这可能是我的抑郁症的根本原因。这是一个艰难的治疗过程 - 可能的事实，我的治疗师是女人放大。让我解释。
我去雄的感情期间与妇女定期交流被触发。这经常导致权力斗争在我的浪漫和工作的关系。作为一个孩子，我是从，因为我的行为，三所学校开除。在每个这些情况，我是在一个权威人物谁是女人的权力斗争。
对许多男人来说，抑郁症和去雄具有协同作用。了解这是复苏至关重要。我已经在我的旅程学到的是，我的阳刚之气无力的感情会导致抑郁，而在同一时间，抑郁能导致去雄的感情。
在我们的社会中，传统的阳刚之气蕴含力量，控制，竞争力，独立性和侵略。作为一个男人，我想体验这些东西。带他们离我而去，我盘旋而下快。
There is a stigma surrounding mental health, but I believe that there is an even bigger stigma surrounding depression and masculinity. One of the reasons for this is that we see them as opposites (depression = weakness while masculinity = strength).
It all starts in our childhood homes
"When I was around 5 years old," says Jed Diamond ofMenAlive.com, stated via phone interview, "I remember overhearing my mother talking with a group of women in the kitchen. They were talking about their husbands in a negative way, saying things like, ‘He can’t get a job,’ ‘He’s home all the time,’ or ‘He’s like one of the kids.’ More than the actual words that I heard from them, was the tone in which they spoke. It was a tone full of pity and contempt for men who weren’t fulfilling their roles. I made a commitment to never let women ever talk to me like that. I promised myself that I would die before I would ever be out of work, no matter what it takes. This commitment drove me to work harder and harder. Everything came crashing down when I lost my job. I was deeply wounded and went into a deep depression. The shaming voices of the women still ring in my ears.
我看这种模式与男性谁是失去工作或害怕失去工作的。和我一样，许多男人感到失去工作，不能够为他们的家人的思想受到了威胁。
虽然这种模式往往与一个人与他母亲的关系开始，他与父亲的关系也有助于它。心理健康扬声器Tom Robertsbelieves that, “Depression in men is a deeply personal issue for me. I watched my father let untreated depression kill him because he feared stigma and for his employer to find out about it and fire him. He died from heart disease at 62 two years after he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.”
许多男人不寻求帮助抑郁症
很多男人避免寻求帮助，只是因为有去雄抑郁触发感情的想法。事实上，它更是社会所接受，看一个人表达愤怒，而不是与抑郁症有关的悲伤。根据我的经验，我也了解到，有时愤怒是变相的抑郁症。
“When I was first diagnosed with the brain disease bipolar disorder, with psychotic features, I thought, ‘No, this can't be me. I was a high school wrestling champion I played football on the winningest team of our class! I don't have this disease, I'm not crazy! Nothing's wrong with me. I just need to ‘man up!’ I didn't want to be labeled,” saysKevin Hines, stated via email.
“为了在最坏的我奋斗的一个整整一年，我强迫自己停止哭泣。痛苦的眼泪和最里面的心理动荡变得完全干燥，我去了一个不存在的我们最人体生理需要在处理这样的冲突。我在感情上关机。我压抑自己的情绪。实际上，切断自己开来的感觉，在所有东西“。
A possible solution to help men
Part of my recovery from depression has been taking a look at the role masculinity plays in my life. As I’ve explored this with my therapist, talked with other men, and read books on the subject, I’ve come to these conclusions:
- 不会有太多的榜样在我们的社会“健康的阳刚之气”
- 阳刚之气（和女性）的问题存在于我们与大家互动
这里有三个提示，帮助我感觉更阳刚和我的抑郁症应对：
- 开始思考你如何看待自己作为一个男人
- 公告阳刚之气的互动如何发挥出来
- 花时间去学习，思考，创造健康的阳刚之气的远景
讽刺的是，我已经了解了我的阳刚之气最重要的教训就是拥抱我的女人味。作为男人，我们女人味是什么使我们能够表达自己，变得坚强。
“今天我明白，作为男人，是什么让健康向上的阳刚之气，是我们生物必需的女人味的平衡，”我们的凯文says'Each同时具备。不是一个没有其他的，我的弱点是什么让我真正的男人。让人们树立我通过我的抑郁症，在我的痛苦愈合的帮助下，使我我能成为最好的人。”
A new paradigm
自从我第一次听到这个词“阉割”，即治疗期间这些年来我已经获得了一个新的认识水平有关我与他人的关系。这种意识已经寻找幸福和希望的感觉的敲门砖。
“我已经在我的旅程中发现 - 这旅程把我从一个地方的瘫痪，独自一人，和我的抑郁症为耻 - 是，通过分享我们的故事，通过打开那些谁可以帮助我们，我们变得不弱但更强，”说Michael KasdanofThe Good Men Project.“我们变得更听上去很像给别人，而不是更少。我们变得更连接到我们身边的每一个人，而不是更少。”
其他资源：
The Masculine Mystique and Male Depression
迈克一条最是美国的领导者之一心理健康意识音箱，HealthCentral最新social ambassador和高能量企业击鼓活动主持人。He delivers educational, engaging, and entertaining presentations to meetings and conferences throughout the world. Learn more and connect with Mike atTransformingStigma.com.